


Property of Payne

by dirtyliam



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angry Liam, Angry Sex, Dark Liam Payne, F/M, Liam Payne fan fiction, Oblivious Niall, Oblivious Zayn, Perrie Edwards & Female character friendship, Riding, Sexual, Touching, but then nice, hes angry a lot okay, mean Liam, property of payne, this is messed the fuck up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-01-07 23:29:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1125652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirtyliam/pseuds/dirtyliam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Did I say you could talk?!" He yelled, causing me to flinch. I shook my head, knowing it would be stupid to actually let a 'no' leave my lips. He shook his head, throwing me on the couch. He stood in front of me, his face showing nothing but rage.</p><p>"Oh, kitty." He chuckled darkly, kneeling in front of me so we were both eye level. "You are in so much trouble, you know that?" He gave me a evil smirk. I slowly nodded my head, my hands shaking from fear.</p><p>  His eyes looked my body up and down. "Are you scared?" He asked, the smirk gone from his face. I nodded, feeling my hands shake even more. He smirked, "you should be."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First off, I know that Liam would never do anything like this in real life! This is all just from my twisted mind:)  
> And this is a FAN FICTION and it will have more chapters!

"How many times must I tell you until you understand that you are mine?!" Liam growled, gripping my upper arms. 

"I'm sorry!" He glared at me, digging his fingers into my skin, definitely leaving bruises. I looked at him in pure terror.

"Did I say you could talk?!" He yelled, causing me to flinch. I shook my head, knowing it would be stupid to actually let a 'no' leave my lips. He shook his head, throwing me on the couch. He stood in front of me, his face showing nothing but rage.

"Oh, kitty." He chuckled darkly, kneeling in front of me so we were both eye level. "You are in so much trouble, you know that?" He gave me a evil smirk. I slowly nodded my head, my hands shaking from fear.

His eyes looked my body up and down. "Are you scared?" He asked, the smirk gone from his face. I nodded, feeling my hands shake even more. He smirked, "you should be."

I have 'been' with Liam for 2 months now. The first couple weeks wasn't bad, he was actually really nice and caring. Then he changed. Trust me, I tried to leave him, but he wouldn't allow that. So now, this is what I'm with. A monster. He can be nice sometimes, but that's only about 1/4 of the time.

"Shilah?" He asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I guess I zoned out there for a minute. His eyes didn't show rage like they did before, but concern.

He sat down beside me and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me on his lap so I was straddling him. He leaned in and rested his forehead against mine. He leaned down more and pecked my lips. His warm chocolate brown eyes stared into mine, melting me. This is what happened, after Liam's rage, he turned into this. Sometimes. Other times he would just leave, still in rage. I don't know what he does when he leaves. And honestly, I didn't want to. I was better off not knowing.

"I'm sorry, baby." He said, wrapping his arms around my waist. I nodded my head, knowing he would get mad again if I didn't. "I love you..." He whispered.

"I love you, too."

 

 

 

...

 

 

Liam went to the gym a lot. Especially when he was stressed out, or angry at someone other than me. Whenever he would get back he would want to have sexual intercourse. Didn't matter what it was, as long as it was something sexual, and with me. It's not like we've never had sex before. We've had sex probably 3 times.

When Liam went to the gym this afternoon, I went to Starbucks. I loved hot drinks. I wasn't much of a soda person. But I didn't like ice tea and stuff like that. Liam didn't like me drinking soda anyway, so it didn't really matter. When I got my coffee, I went and sat down at one of the little tables, and pulled out my phone, scrolling through Instagram. Liam didn't let me have Twitter or Facebook because creeps could get on and stalk me. He didn't know I had an Instagram though; I kept it from him.

I was gone for 2 hours. When I walked in the door to me and Liam's house, he was pacing in the room. When the door shut, he looked up at me angrily. I dropped my bag down on the floor, and put my jacket on the hook. "Where have you been?!" He yelled, stomping over to me. He grabbed my upper arms and shoved me up against the wall, making me wince. 

"I- I was at Starbucks.." I whispered, looking at his angered face.

"Why did you take so long? I've been waiting here for you for 30 minutes!" He yelled. "Were you flirting with a guy?" He growled, leaning in closer to my face.

I quickly shook my head. "No, Liam I swear-" His hand came to my cheek, smacking it. My head flew to the right, tears stinging my eyes. I slowly turned my head back towards him. "Liam, please..." I whimpered.

He looked at me, still angered. "I lost track of time...I was reading a book.." I trailed off. It was true, I did read a book. Maybe not the whole time, but for about 15 minutes I did. His eyes softened.

"Fine, but be late again and I swear you'll regret it." He said, finally letting go of my arms. He ran a hand through his hair, letting out a sigh. He looked towards me, seeing me still frightened. He reached forward and grabbed my hands, intertwining our fingers. He pulled me in front of him, his arms wrapping around my waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck, knowing if I didn't he would get angry again. He leaned in and kissed my lips, and pulled away again. "You know I'm sorry..." He whispered, resting his forehead against mine.

"I know.." I whispered. He gave me a small smile, intertwining our fingers again, pulling me to the couch. 

"Put a movie in, okay?" He said, "I'll be right back." I nodded my head and looked through the movies. I decided on watching Despicable Me. Liam may be an angry, cruel man but he had his kid side, which was movies. I put it in, and went back to sit on the couch. Liam came back with an ice pack. He sat beside me and kissed the cheek he smacked, and placed the ice pack on it. I put my hand on it so it would stay up when Liam let go.

Liam's arm wrapped around my waist, his grip tight. I knew he was still mad. If I didn't fix it, I knew what I would have to go through. One time I didn't, and let me tell you, I regretted it. Let's just say, I couldn't walk for days. Even if Liam said sorry and stopped, doesn't mean he wasn't mad. I believe, he just likes giving me false hope, which would be crushed later. I had to do something for him.

I looked over at him and saw his jaw was clenched and he was staring intently at the screen. I sighed, setting the ice pack down on the table. Liam turned towards me, his face expression blank. I crawled on his lap, straddling him. "I'm sorry, baby." I said, cupping his cheeks. I leaned in, kissing his lips. His arms went around my waist, pulling me closer. I pulled away, "I shouldn't have stayed out for so long. I was careless." I knew I had the right to stay out as long as I wanted. But lying was better than getting hurt. "I'll never do it again." 

"I know," he said, his hand going and tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. He leaned in again and kissed my lips. His lips were so soft, which felt amazing on my soft lips. 

"Oi!" Said a Irish accent. I tore away from Liam, looking behind us to see Niall standing there. "Stop being all lovey dovey, would ya?" He came in and plopped down on the couch.

"Yeah, Niall, you can come in. Thanks for asking." Liam said, giving Niall a teasing smile. "We'll continue this later..." Liam whispered in my ear, lifting me up and placing me beside him on the couch.

When his friends came over, he was always happy. But if I did something bad, he would take me into another room and punish me, even if his friends were in the room right next to us. It didn't really matter to him. All that mattered, was me getting taught a lesson. "Hey, Shi," Niall said, leaning forward so he could see me. "You comin' to the game with me and Liam?" I glanced at Liam, whose face was blank.

"She's staying here with Perrie." He said. Niall nodded his head, looking at the screen.

"Despicable Me, really?"

 

 

...

 

 

"See ya, Niall!" Liam said, closing the door. Niall had been here for a very long time, until midnight. Liam kept hinting that he was 'tired' so he would leave, but Niall wasn't completely oblivious to it. Or just didn't really care. Who knows with Niall.

Liam turned around, running a hand through his hair. "Finally..." He whispered. I smiled softly at him, seeing if he was mad or happy. I've wondered many times if Liam was bipolar. He could go from happy to mad in 5 seconds. He smiled back at me; he wasn't mad. 

I walked forward and grabbed his hand, pulling him into our bedroom. I sat him on the bed, standing in front of him. He smiled up at me, already knowing what I was going to do. Sometimes I thought he did all this just so I would do things for him. I thought a lot, if you didn't notice this. I came up with theories for a lot of stuff I had to go through.

I went to the stereo and turned it on, a song playing. I walked back over to him, putting my hands on his knees, and leaning down, kissing him. Before it could form into a full out make out session, I pulled away, smiling mischievously. I stood up and swayed my hips to the music, my hands running up and down my body. Liam watched me hungrily, his lip going in between his teeth, biting it. 

My hands went to the end of my shirt, gripping it and pulling it over my head. I tossed it to the side, not caring where it went. Liam's eyes instantly went to my chest. My hands ran up my waist, sliding over my chest, which Liam loved. My eyes closed, my body moving with the music. I lost all thoughts about everything around me, losing myself in the music. My hands went to the button of my jeans, undoing them and pulling them down. I slowly walked towards Liam, turning around and placed my butt on his crotch area. I could hear him groan in my ear. I moved my hips, going lower. Liam's hands went to the curve of my waist, his large hands moving me, continuing my same moves. 

This one of Liam's favorite thing to do. It wasn't hard to find that out. Whenever he would get really mad at me, I did this. It made him forget about it and it wouldn't be mentioned again. Which made me very happy. 

Liam's fingers slid into the sides of my underwear, pulling them down. His hands slid the underwear down my legs, dropping them on the floor. His hand rubbed my thighs, warming them. He looked into my eyes, his chocolate brown orbs melting mine. He leaned in, his lips pressing against mine. Our lips moved together, his prying mine open. His tongue searched my mouth. I knew better than even try to take dominance. I once did, and he let me know that he was the only dominant one. If he wanted me to be, he would tell me. That's just how it was.

"Mmm.." Liam hummed, pulling away from my lips. He smiled at me, "you know just how to make me feel better.." I smiled back, leaning in and pecking his lips.

He leaned in and nudged my head to the side. He left trails of soft kisses down my neck. He got to the side of my neck, sucking. I closed my eyes, enjoying the pleasure. He sucked more and pulled away, licking the spot he sucked, warming it for a second. 

"No everyone will know you're mine.." He whispered, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me against his chest. He laid back so I was laying on top of him. I tried getting up to lay beside him, but his strong gripped tightened, making it even more impossible to get out. "Don't move," he said sternly. I nodded my head, my head resting on his chest, which was now bare. He must have took it off while my eyes were shut. He silently hummed to the song, his chest vibrating. His chest always seemed like it was warm. I don't even remember a time when it even felt close to cold. It was amazing.

"Liam?" I asked. 

"Mmm?"

"Why can't I come to the game with you and Niall?" I asked, my head still resting on Liam's chest.

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I said so." He said, sternly. I knew that the argument was over. I lost.

"Fine." I said, my voice annoyed.

"Hey," he said sternly, gripping my upper arms and made me look at him. "Don't talk to me like that." He said, his eyes already hardening. I quickly nodded my head, not wanting him to get more angry. He laid me back down on his chest. "Now go to sleep."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He shoved me up against the wall, pressing himself against my back. His hands touched every part of me, making my clothes get a bit messed up. His hands went to my jeans, reaching around in the front and undoing them, then pulling them down my legs. He gripped my hips, pushing against me so I would be squished even more against the wall. My hands were on either of my side, knowing better than to move them. He leaned in and whispered into my ear, "do you remember what I told you I would do if you ran off?" I squeezed my eyes shut. 
> 
> Please, god. Help me.
> 
> I nodded my head as much as I could, it being pressed against the wall making it a bit hard. I could see him smirk from the side of my eye. "What did I say I would do, kitten?" He growled, pressing his length against my bum, making me gasp. I squeezed my eyes shut, wanting to disappear. 
> 
> "Spank me." I whispered, finally opening my eyes again.

"Stop." Liam said, his arm tightening around me. I waited a little bit, then shifted a little bit. His arm pushed against me, squeezing me. "I said fucking stop." He hissed into my ear.

"Sorry," I said, feeling his arm loosen. "I just can't get comfortable."

"Just go to sleep." I sighed, knowing I wouldn't be able to get comfortable. 

I waited a while until I heard Liam's soft snores. I moved more, finally getting comfortable. I wasn't flush against Liam's chest now, so it was cooler. I hand grabbed my thigh, their fingers digging into my skin. Liam pulled me up against him again, making me uncomfortable and hot again. "Move again." He growled. "And you'll regret it." He hissed, his lips touching my ear when he spoke. I froze, knowing he would stick to his word.

I heard Liam's snores in my ear again, calming me. At least he wasn't awake anymore. His hand was still on my thigh. I pushed his hand off, for it to just go back on it, squeezing it. "Fucking sleep." He hissed into my ear. I squeezed my eyes shut, knowing I made him very mad. It was not a good idea to make Liam in the morning, or wake him up. Let me tell you, he would not hold you after he hit you. He was not a morning person.

I wish I could leave him, but it was no use. It would be such a dumb idea to even think that I could. It was nice to imagine, yes. But I knew it would never come true.

 

\----

 

"Morning, baby." A husky voice said from behind me, kissing my neck. I smiled softly; I loved when Liam woke up like this. 

Happy

"Morning," I said, turning around and facing him. I wrapped my arms around his waist, putting my head on his chest. His arms went around me, holding me. "I'm hungry..." I whispered, my eyes shut, listening to Liam's heartbeat. He chuckled, making his chest vibrate.

"Me too." His hand petted my hair, making me tired again. His other hand rested on my lower back, rubbing circles on my skin with his thumb. 

"Can I get a tattoo?" I asked, hoping he would say yes. His hand paused, than started to pet my hair again.

"No." He said.

"Why not?"

"Your skin is not going to be hurt." 

"It's not like you've never hurt it..."I muttered. Both of his hands stopped now. He gripped my upper arms, pulling me up on his chest. 

"I said no, got it?" He said sternly. I shook my head, mad at myself for ruining his good mood. "Now, come on. Let's go eat." I he got up, me following behind him. I quickly slipped on my underwear before following Liam out the door. I was just wearing my t-shirt from last night and underwear, so I felt pretty cold. I grabbed a blanket that was laying on the couch, wrapping it around me. I walked into the kitchen, where Liam was getting cereal boxes out. I went to the cabinet and got out two bowls and set them on the counter.

I poured my cereal and put milk in it. I set it on the table, walking to the fridge to get the milk. A hand caught my wrist, pulling me back. Liam grabbed both sides of the blanket, pulling me towards him. He put the blanket around both of us, towering over me. He leaned down, kissing my lips. "I love you," he said, pulling away. 

I nodded my head, "I love you, too." His arms went around my waist, mine going around his. 

"Getting tattooed hurts." He said, kissing my head. "And it's permanent. I don't want you to regret it."

"But you have some..." I said.

"Yes, but Shilah I'm stronger than you." I looked down at the floor, disappointed. "Hey," he said, lifting my chin up. "You'll thank me later." I nodded my head. He let go of me, letting me go get my milk.

I sat down on the chair, eating my cereal. What would happen if I got a tattoo anyway? Would Liam be mad? Or would be proud that I actually did it? I knew getting a tattoo would hurt. I wasn't stupid. But I really wanted one. Liam had one, why should I have one? I wasn't sure what I wanted to get, but I knew I wanted one. Maybe because Liam didn't want to have me one. Did it really matter anyway? The main point is, is that I want one.

A hand waved in front of my face, snapping me out of my thoughts. "What?" I asked, looking at Liam.

"I'm going to the game tonight with Niall." He said. "Perrie will be coming over soon." I nodded my head.

"Where's Zayn?" I asked. I didn't think he was going to the game with Liam and Niall.

"He has to work today." I nodded my head. Me and Perrie would good friends. We told each other everything. The only thing I didn't tell Perrie, was about Liam being abusive. I knew that would be a terrible, and stupid idea. I would die if I told anyone and they would tell someone else. Especially if that someone, was someone Liam knew. That would be even worse. Ugh, I can just imagine it.

Even if I didn't want to.

 

 

 

....

 

"If you say anything..." Liam growled, his hands gripping my hips, pushing me up against the wall. "I swear to god..." I nodded my head.

"I know, I know. I won't." I said. "I swear." I gave him a small smile, wanting the worried expression to go away. He nodded his head, leaning down and pressing a chaste kiss on my mouth.

"Liam, come on!" Niall yelled from the other side of the door. "Stop makin out with your girlfriend!"

"I'm coming!" Liam yelled. He turned back to me, tapping my nose. "Be good." He gave me one last kiss before walking out the door. I heard the front door shut, making me sigh.

I loved being alone. No one to annoy me, or hit me. It was bliss. I knew Perrie would be coming soon, but I didn't mind Perrie being here. She was one person that I was actually allowed to see. Liam didn't let me see most of my old friends, saying that they were 'trouble'. I missed them, very much. But it was useless even trying to talk to them; they hated me. They didn't like Liam from the start, saying there was something off about him. I didn't understand because I thought he was the sweetest guy there is. I was stupid.

Zayn was good to Perrie. That's why I envied her so much. They were so in love. I still remember questioning why Liam did what he did to me. Did he hate me or something? But I didn't dare ask him. What kind of idiot would I be if I did that? A big one.

The door opened, and footsteps going into the living room. "Shilah?" Perrie's voice called. I quickly walked out of the bedroom, smiling at Perrie. She spotted me, smiling and running towards me, engulfing me in a huge hug. "I missed you!" 

"I missed you, too! We haven't seen each other in so long!" 

"I know, its terrible!" She grinned at me. "I brought movies!" She squealed, making me chuckle. She stuck her hand in her bag, moving around. She pulled out Twilight and The Princess Diaries. They were her favorite movies. Her squealing about Taylor Launter was probably the funniest thing I've ever seen. I was also a fan of Taylor Launter, even though I was a fan of Edward. But Taylor's abs, hot damn. 

She quickly put Twilight in the DVD player, then ran to the couch and sat beside me. It was Breaking Dawn part 1, in my opinion, the best one. It was so romantic and just awesome. I've watched it many times, since it was my favorite. 

"This movie is just so...hot." Perrie said, giggling. She wiggled her eyebrows at me, making me burst out in laughter. 

 

\----

 

Liam's POV

I tapped my foot, anxious to leave. What was Shilah doing? I hated leaving her like that. I was ready to go home now, even though it had just been half an hour. What if she told Perrie? If she did, she would be in so much trouble.

"Liam would ya calm down?" Niall said, giving me an annoyed face. "She won't die without you." I rolled my eyes, my elbows on my knees. 

I looked around at the players, wanting nothing more than to leave. I ran my hands down my face, trying to calm myself. Niall nudged my arm, pointing to one of the cheerleaders. They were all wearing small, tight shorts and tight shirts. I looked at her with disgust. If Shilah would wear something like that out in public, she would be in a lot of trouble. She could only wearing something like that for me. Not in front of a huge crowd. "That's disgusting," I said, looking at Niall. He rolled his eyes.

"You're so weird."

 

\----

 

 

"I can't believe you talked me into this!" I yelled over the music. Perrie grinned at me. She took me over to the bar, getting two drinks. How did we go from fangirling over Taylor's abs, to at a club? I have no clue.

The only thing I could think about, was how mad Liam would be if he found out that I was here. I looked at Perrie, who handed me a drink. "Perrie, Liam is going to kill me if he finds out I'm here!"

"He won't!" She downed her drink. "Don't let him boss you around!" She said, getting another drink. I sighed and looked down at my drink, slowly taking a sip. It burned down my throat, making me wrinkle my nose in disgust.   
"Is this whiskey?" I asked. Perrie nodded, grabbing my hand and dragging me to the dance floor. "Have fun!" She yelled, dancing around. I tried to loosen up, but I was too worried. I could get in so much trouble.

Perrie sighed, dragging me back to the bar, getting me another drink. She handed it to me, making me drink it. I looked around the club, worried I would see Liam somewhere. I was soon dragged back to the dance floor. Sweaty bodies were touching me, there bodies moving around. I wrinkled my nose, hating so many people touching me at once. I knew Liam would probably be getting at the house soon, or even be there.

"Perrie," I yelled, making her look at me. "What is Liam going to think when he sees I'm not there?!"

"Oh, I left a note!" My eyes widened. In just that moment, when I looked around the club, my eyes locked with the familiar brown ones. Liam marched towards me, grabbing my wrist and pull me off the dance floor. He pulled me to the back of the club where it was darker. He shoved me up against the wall.

"What the hell, Shilah?!" He yelled, making me flinch. "Did you think I would be okay with this?!" I shook my head, tears stinging in my eyes. "Then why did you come?!"

"Perrie said we should..."

"That's not a good excuse, darling." He hissed. He chuckled darkly. "You're in so much trouble, kitten."

 

....

"Liam, please!" Liam dragged me into the house, slamming the door behind him. I think the reason Liam wanted to get a house so much instead of an apartment was because of this. He didn't want anyone to hear my scream or when we doing other things. He liked things private, nothing public. No sharing.

"It's too late for that, kitten." He hissed, his voice lethal. I knew my face showed nothing but fear. Liam has never been this mad before. He looked like he could kill.

He shoved me up against the wall, pressing himself against my back. His hands touched every part of me, making my clothes get a bit messed up. His hands went to my jeans, reaching around in the front and undoing them, then pulling them down my legs. He gripped my hips, pushing against me so I would be squished even more against the wall. My hands were on either of my side, knowing better than to move them. He leaned in and whispered into my ear, "do you remember what I told you I would do if you ran off?" I squeezed my eyes shut. 

Please, god. Help me.

I nodded my head as much as I could, it being pressed against the wall making it a bit hard. I could see him smirk from the side of my eye. "What did I say I would do, kitten?" He growled, pressing his length against my bum, making me gasp. I squeezed my eyes shut, wanting to disappear. 

"Spank me." I whispered, finally opening my eyes again.

"What? I didn't hear you. You're gonna have to speak up, baby." His hands went up to the curve of my waist, squeezing it. I let out a big breath, speaking again, this time louder.

"You were going to spank me." I looked at Liam as much as I could, seeing him smirking at me. "And..." I couldn't finish, not wanting it to be true. I knew he was still going to do it. He always did. 

"And I would fuck you into the wall." Liam finished, squeezing again. "I stay true to my word, kitten." I squeezed my eyes shut, knowing it was true. "You know that."

His hands pulled my shirt over my head, throwing it behind him without a care in the world. His hands rubbed up my bare waist, feeling my soft skin. One thing Liam liked to do, was just touch my skin. Just feeling my skin seemed to turn him on. His arms went to my arms and pulled them down, making my cheek press against the wall in a painful way. He felt up my arms, leaving tingles from his touch behind. 

"Get on all fours." Liam growled into my ear, letting me go. I quickly got on the floor, getting on my hands and knees. I knew what was going to come, so I began to prepare myself for the pain that was about to come for me. I could hear Liam behind me, taking his shirt off, his jeans soon following. He pushed them out of the way, walking closer to me. 

I felt his hands rubbing my underwear covered bum, feeling it up. I braced myself for the smack, knowing it was coming soon. "Do you know why I have to spank you, Shilah?" He asked.

"Because I went to the club with Perrie." I said, biting my lip nervously. "When you told me not to leave.."

His hand smacked my bum, the smack so powerful it made me jolt forward. I squealed, tears already brimming my eyes. His hand kept smacking, each blow more powerful than the next. His hand was soon pulling down my underwear, smacking my bare bum. Tears were flowing freely down my cheeks, my mouth open letting the sobs come out. 

I was soon pulled up, and shoved back up against the wall. His hand undid my bra strap, pulling it off me. I was now completely bare, tears rolling down my cheeks and my bum was most likely red as a tomato. I heard him shuffling around through a drawer, getting a condom. He was soon behind me, pulling his boxers down and rolling on the condom. His hands were now grabbing my hips, lining his dick to my entrance. I knew he was going to stretch me or anything, he was too mad to care. He jammed right into me, making me cry out. He was soon thrusting in and out of me, not waiting for me to get use to him.

It didn't hurt as much as it would if it were the first time we have ever done something like this. I was use to Liam's length, so it made the pain lessen a lot. It was actually a turn on sometimes when Liam was mad. How his jaw would clench and his biceps would show even more. He was very attractive in the first place, so anyone would be turned on. I was wet, so that made is hurt less also.

"I'll stop when we both cum," Liam growled into my ear, still rocking his hips into me. I was panting, stronger pleasure hitting me every time he thrust. I knew we were both very close. He angled himself differently, hitting straight at my prostate. I moaned, my hands gripping the walls. "Like that?" Liam growled, hitting it again. He kept thrusting into it, making me closer to my high.

"Liam, I'm gonna-" I reached my high, cumming all over Liam's length. He came right after me, filling me up. My legs were weak, the only thing holding me up was Liam's dick still inside me, and his hands on my hips. He groaned behind me, pulling out. He wiped himself off, pulling his boxers back on.

He looked down at me, knelt down and pressed a kiss to my forehead and walked out of the bedroom. I rested my head against the wall, exhausted. I was still breathing heavily, my mind racing with memories of what just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!x


	3. Chapter 3

This may shock you.

But Liam is actually a strong christian. Every once in a while, he'll drag me to church with him. I actually don't have a religion, which I knew bugged Liam. He said you can't just run around 'free'. I thought it was ridiculous. 

Either way, I was sitting in a pew beside Liam, who was holding my hand in a tight grip. The preacher was talking loudly in the front, holding a bible in one hand while his other hand going all around the place.

"One of the main things that young adults, and teenagers cave into, is sex." I stiffened, getting very uncomfortable. "The temptation is so strong. Another problem, is their peers. They think they have to have sex to make them 'cool' cause everyone else is doing it!" Their were some amen's shouted. I looked hesitantly over at Liam, who was still staring at the priest. 

Did he not feel awkward?

"You are suppose to wait for sex until marriage." He said, his voice now lowering from his loud shouts. "Sex isn't about impressing your peers, or for pleasure. It's about loving someone and bringing another human into this world!" He shouted, his voice getting louder again. There were several more amen's and some people began to clap.

All I could do, was let my cheeks get red and slouch down.

 

\----

Liam's fingers were tapping on the steering wheel, making the only sound in the car. The silence was comfortable, which made me even more tired than I was before. I hadn't slept much the night before, and then I had to get up early to come to church. I couldn't sleep when we got home either, because we were going to Liam's parents for lunch. 

We finally pulled up to Liam's parents house, making me sigh out in relief. The silence was comfortable, but I had a feeling there was something up with Liam. He hadn't said much after the service. He only reminded me that we were going to his parents house. 

Liam grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers. "Be good," he whispered in my ear. He knocked on the door, his mother soon coming and opening it. I thought Liam's mother was just the cutest thing I've ever seen. She cried a lot when Liam wasn't around, and when she finally got to see him after a long time. It was so sweet.

"Liam," she wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him. He chuckled, hugging her back. I smiled, looking at them fondly. 

"Hi, mum." He said. Liam's dad came up behind them, smiling. I smiled at him, sticking my hand out for him to shake. Once Liam pulled away from his mother, she came over to me, wrapping her arms around me in a hug. 

"Lunch is already sitting on the table," she said, scurrying off into the kitchen. 

Liam grabbed my hand again, rubbing circles on my skin with his thumb. "Remember," he whispered. "Be good." I ignored him, walking into the kitchen. I sat down, Liam coming and sitting beside me. There was spaghetti sitting in front of us. I loved spaghetti. When I was a kid, I wasn't allowed to eat it as much since my brother was allergic to it. I licked my lips, making Liam chuckle. 

I was in the middle of shoveling food onto my plate when I felt a hand squeeze my thigh. I looked over at Liam, who was looking at his plate as he twisted spaghetti around his fork. I sighed, doing the same with my fork. His hand slowly started to raise up my leg, raising my dress up. I mentally cursed myself for wearing a dress, and Liam for doing this. 

I was in the middle of chewing, when Liam's hand cupped my sex. I choked on my spaghetti, making his parents look up at me, but just make him smirk. "Sorry," I said, smiling at them. "I'm fine." They nodded their heads, unconvinced, and went back to eating. I looked over at Liam, glaring at him. He smirked at me, his eyes glinting in a mischievous way. 

His hand moved my underwear aside, rubbing in between my folds. My hand quickly grabbed his wrist, pausing his actions. I looked over at him, my eyes wide. He raised his eyebrows at me, daring me to protest. His finger suddenly plunged inside me, making my mouth fall open, but no noise came out.

"Liam," I hissed, glaring at him, "not now." He chuckled, pulling his hand away from me. I sighed out in relief, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. 

Liam leaned in, whispering in my ear, "oh, trust me." His lips nipped at my ear lobe, "we'll being doing it later."

 

 

\---

 

 

"How about no."

I sighed, leaning my head back and shutting my eyes. I was at Niall's apartment with Liam, and Louis and Harry were here. Liam and Niall were trying to fix the TV, the screen kept getting fuzzy, making that loud noise. Harry and Louis have been fighting about who gets the last piece of pizza for at least an hour. It was already cold by now! I had a massive headache and I felt like stabbing someone in the throat.

I was on my period, so I was not a happy person. At all.

"I'm not going to let you have-" I stood up, marching over to them and grabbing the last piece of pizza, taking a big bit from it. Louis and Harry stared at me in horror, like I killed a baby or something.

"Hey!" Louis said.

"I'm sorry," I dropped the pizza back down on the table. "But I have a massive headache and I'm tired of hearing you two fight." Their faces relaxed, going back to their normal face expressions.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked, leading me to the couch. I sat down, laying my hand on my head. It was burning hot. That was definitely not a good thing.

"Yeah, yeah." I said, dropping my hand. "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine." Louis said, making me glare at him.

Don't get me wrong, I love Louis and Harry. It may get annoying seeing them making out on the couch sometimes, but I still loved them. Yes, they were a couple together. And they were adorable together.

"You look really pale." Harry said, both of them looking at me, their faces concerned. "Are you- ya know..." He whispered. I quickly shook my head.

"No. No way." They didn't look very convinced. "No, we always use protection." They nodded their heads, but still looked at each other, worried. 

"Is something wrong?" Liam's voice said from behind Louis and Harry. He came and sat beside me on the couch, looking concerned.

For once.

I nodded my head, "yeah, I'm fine." I gave him a small smile, which I knew wasn't very convincing. Liam looked at Harry and Louis.

"Can I talk to Shilah alone for a bit?" They nodded their heads, getting up and walking out. Liam turned back to me, his face still concerned. He put his hand on my forehead. "You're burning up." He cradled my cheeks, looking down at me. 

He seemed to be thinking, his face looking worried the whole time. "You don't think your preg-"

"No." I said quickly, shaking my head as much as I could with Liam's hands cradling my face. "There's no way..." I whispered, my eyes tearing up. 

"Sh, baby." He leaned down, his arms wrapping around me. I cried into his shoulder, my hands going around his waist. "It's fine." He sat down and pulled me on his lap, arms going back around me. His hand petted my hair, "shh..."

"I'm not ready to have a baby, Liam." He rubbed circles on my back. "We aren't ready to have a baby."

"I know, I know."

 

 

\----

 

"We could've stayed." I said, taking my jacket off. 

After my little 'crying session' Liam took me straight home. Well, not before we stopped and got a pregnancy test. Or 3 tests... I tried to get him to say, but he insisted. And I felt terrible about it. He had finally gotten to see his Louis and Harry again, but only for an hour. And it was my fault.

I plopped down on the couch, rubbing my eyes. They hurt from crying so much and my cheeks were still red. Liam put the bag of pregnancy tests on the table, sitting down beside me. He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me. "No, you needed to come home." He kissed the top of my head.

"Were you-um..sick this morning?" He asked.

"Well," I rubbed my eyes again. "My stomach hurt. I didn't throw up though. They usually throw up, right?" I asked, hoping the answer was right.

"I don't know..." Not exactly the answer I wanted. But it was better than a no. "Do you want to take the test now or..."

"Not yet," I sniffed. "Just- let's just sit here." Liam pulled me on his lap so I was facing him, my legs on either side of him. I rested my forehead against his, closing my eyes. My headache had lessened a little bit since I had gotten away from all the noise. But then just increased from the stress.

"I love you." Liam whispered. "More than anything else." He rubbed circles on my back, calming me. 

"And if you are pregnant," he took a big breath. "Then I promise I will be there the whole time." I sighed out in relief. I have to be honest, this was one of the main things I was worrying about. But then I was thinking that maybe if I were pregnant, Liam wouldn't want to be with me anymore and leave me.

Would that be a good or bad thing though?

"Okay, I'm ready now." I said, getting off of Liam's lap, and grabbing the bag. I started to walk to the bathroom, my heart thumping louder with every step.

"Do you want me to come-"

"No! I'm gonna pee Liam.." He put his hands up in surrender, letting out a small chuckle. I went to the bathroom and pulled out all the boxes.

Here I go.

 

\----

 

All three of the tests were sitting on the counter. I stood nervously in front of them, Liam still in the kitchen. I have never been so nervous in my whole lifetime. I feel like I could throw up. One from nervousness, second from being sick. Or pregnant...

Oh god, I didn't even want to think about it.

Liam soon came in, standing beside me. We were both leaning against the wall, staring intently at the tests. Liam's arms were crossed over his chest, making his muscles seem even larger. 

I knew it was just in a matter of seconds that they would be done. The only thing I could think about was me holding a baby. 

My baby.

"They're done." I looked up, seeing all three tests with little signs on them. I looked over at Liam, grabbing his hand, intertwining our fingers. We both looked at the tests, seeing the answer.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't know why it gets to me"

I breathed out a sight of relief, seeing them all being a negative. 

"Oh, thank god." Liam mumbled, running a hand through his hair. "That was terrifying." He chuckled a little bit.

I smiled a little bit. But then I remembered; I was on my period. I couldn't be pregnant!

Shilah, you fucking idiot.

"I couldn't have been pregnant," I whispered, just enough for Liam to hear me. He looked at me, confused. "I'm on my period!" Liam's face went neutral; completely emotionless. 

What happened next, was something I did not expect.

Liam grabbed my shoulders, slamming me against the wall. A wave of pain went through my body, making me groan. Liam's eyes held nothing but fury, his hands pressing me painfully against the wall. "What did you just say?" He hissed, his face dangerously close to mine.

"I-I'm on my period..."

"You mean," he growled. "You scared me like that for nothing." His voice was lethal. He looked like he could kill someone right now. 

Unfortunately, I was the only human in the house, other than him - at the moment. Obviously he wouldn't kill me, but what would he do? It was stupid of me not to think about that earlier. I did pee on the stupid things though. How could I have been so blind?

"Liam, I'm really sorry...I just..I don't know..." I was hopeless. There was no helping Liam when he was like this. 

"You don't know?" He growled. He stared down at the floor for a second, sighed, then looked back up at me. "Do you want to have a baby?" He asked, his tone more serious and -thankfully- more softer.

"I mean - yeah, some day. But...not right now." I looked into his chocolate brown eyes, which were now much more relaxed and now as wide. They always got really wide when he was angry - and loud. "We're too young."

He rested his forehead against mine, looking down into my eyes. He leaned down, pecking my lips. "I'm sorry, baby. It's just that, you really scared me." I nodded my head, silence taking over us.

This always happens. The same thing over, and over again; an endless cycle. It's not like I like this, or doing this. I was scared out of my brain when these things happened. I never knew when he was going to take it too far. What if he killed me someday? Even though I'm pretty sure that, that will never happen, it's still frightening to think about it. Seriously, who wants to be killed by their own boyfriend?

Exactly, no one.

"Come on," Liam said, grabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers. He pulled me along with him to the bedroom, sitting me on the bed. "I'll be right back, okay?" I nodded my head. "You can change into something more comfortable."

I stood up once Liam left the room. I tore my shirt off, along with my pants. I put on some black sweatpants - because you never know- and a white tank top. One thing that I actually liked about Liam, was that I could be myself around him. He didn't really care if I looked like a hobo most of the time. It was just who I was. 

There were many things that I liked about Liam. And several that I didn't. But that's usual in a relationship, right? But then again, it is different. I'm sure not everyone's boyfriend has these anger moments where he's not himself at all. 

He's a monster.

Someone who can't be trusted when he's like that. When he wasn't, he was a loyal and trustworthy person. He was actually very kind, and I did truly love him. Just not all parts of him.

"I got you a heating pad." Liam came in holding the pad, movies in his other hand. He set the movies down and on the table, "lay down." I laid down on my back, pulling the covers to my hips. It wasn't that hot, but it wasn't that cold either. I just wanted a blanket on me. He laid the heating pad on my lower stomach. I got terrible cramps on my period, and terrible headaches. Especially if I was stressed out, which I usually am these days. Worrying about whether or not Liam is going to get mad tonight or not, if he's going to lash out and hit me. You just never know.

"I'm going to go get you some soup." Liam said, after he put in the movie. I smiled at him, nodding my head. He smiled down at me, his thumb going to my cheek, rubbing circles. He leaned down, giving me a slow, romantic kiss. It made me melt, making my cramps lessen, and my headache go down. This is what the sweet Liam could do.

He could make everything better.

After he pulled away, he went and got the soup. It was my favorite, vegetable soup. I wasn't a big fan of vegetables, but in soup, I loved them. 

Once I was finished with my soup, my headache was gone. Of course, my cramps weren't gone, but the heating pad helped. 

God, I hated periods.

Why did we even have to have them anyway? What is the fucking point of them? Oh, fuck you mother nature. Yeah- okay..I'm getting off track.

Liam crawled into the bed, laying down beside me. I took the heating pad off so I could sleep better. His arm went around my waist, pulling me towards him. His other arm went around my waist, pulling me flush against him. "I am sorry." He kissed my forehead.

"I know," I whispered, closing my eyes and leaning my head against his chest. He rubbed circles on my back, making me even more tired than I was. Periods also made me very tired.

Periods are just not a fun time.

I had to be honest, when Liam had these lash outs, or whatever you want to call them - I am terrified. It really does get to me. Does he hate me? But he says he loves me all the time. He could be lying though. I wasn't that stupid.

It's not like I haven't tried to leave. Other girls don't even try, saying that 'he loves me, he won't do it again'. Sad part is, they always do it again. Liam always does. I wish I could get away from all this, but I know he would find me.

He always does.

 

....

 

(How They Meet)

 

"Well that was a boring ass movie," Andrea groaned. We walked out of the dark theater, getting blinded my the bright light. "Fucking hell, can't they dim these fuckers?" I giggled, playfully hitting her arm.

"You don't have to cuss so much!"

"Yes, yes I do." I shook my head, a large smile on my face. 

Andrea kept jamming her straw into the ice, making an annoying sound. "What movie do you want to watch now?"

"Uh..." I looked at the board where they showed the movies they were playing tonight. 

Catching Fire: 7:30 p.m.

"How about Catching Fire?" I looked over at her, waiting for her to answer. I have always been a big fan of The Hunger Games. It was a romance, but with action. It was the perfect movie to go to on a date, because it would be enjoyable for both of you.

Too bad no guys liked me,

"Yeah, yeah that sounds good." She kept sipping on her drink - which was empty - making that annoying slurping sound. 

"How about we get refills?" I asked, she just nodded her head, quickly walking to the counter. I chuckled, walking after her. There was only one person in front of us, so it didn't take long.

"Two refills on Pepsi. And two tickets for Catching Fire." Andrea said, setting her cup on the counter, along with mine.

They gave us our drinks back - which Andrea started to sip on right away. My phone buzzed in my pocket, making me pull it out. I grabbed my drink while unlocking my phone. My eyes were glued to the screen while I turned around. 

Right when I turned and took my first step, I bumped right into someone. The lid fell off of my cup, the drink spilling out over both of us. I quickly shoved my phone back in my pocket, several 'sorry's' slipping from my mouth.

"I am so, so sorry." I looked up at the person, eyes going wide when I found a pair of chocolate brown eyes staring back into mine. 

He smiled, "it's okay. Really." He picked my cup off the floor, handing it to me. "You might have to refill it though."

I laughed, embarrassed. "Yeah.."

My face must be so red.

"I'm really sorry. I kind of ruined your shirt..." I stared down at his shirt. The Pepsi made it stick to his skin, making it able to see his very visible abs through the shirt. My face burned even more from my staring.

"I didn't like this shirt much anyway.." I looked behind him, seeing Andrea laughing like a maniac. "But, I do think I deserve your number." I looked at him, my eyes wide. "You did spill a drink on me..."

"Um, sure yeah." He pulled out his phone and handed it to me. I typed my number in and handed it back to him.

Well this is just the most ideal way to meet a guy, isn't it? Spill my drink on him and make a fool out of myself.

Great job, Shay.

"I'm Liam, by the way." He stuck out his hand for me to shake.

"Shay."

We both stood there awkwardly, Andrea still laughing behind us.

"Well, I better refill my.." I looked down at my cup. "Yeah.." I turned around and put my cup on the counter. They had to get a new cup since that one was all wet.

Once I got my cup back, I quickly turned around, seeing Liam standing in line. He was looking down at his phone, typing something. I quickly walked past him to Andrea, my face still burning red.

"Oh my god, Shay! That was great!" She laughed, hitting my arm.

"Shut up," I looked at the clock, seeing it was 7:25. "Come on, let's go. The movie is going to start in 5 minutes." I grabbed her arm, pulling her along.

We sat down in the back, where we always sat. We always had to sit in the back for some strange reason. We didn't actually have a reason to sit in the back, we just did.

My phone buzzed again. I pulled it out and unlocked it, seeing a unknown number had text me. I opened the message:

'Hey, it's Liam. Just thought you should save my number in your phone, too:)'

I smiled, saving the contact and replying:

'Saved :)'

"Put your phone away, the movie is starting!" Said some lady in front of us. How did she even see us?

"Boo you, whore." Andrea said, throwing popcorn at her. "Love is being made, kay? So shut for nasty face and turn around." She looked surprised, but just turned around.

I tried holding my laughter in as much as I could, not wanting to interrupt again. But oh god, it was funny.

My phone buzzed again. 

'Great. We should definitely hand out some time..'

I smiled, replying:

'Yeah, that would be great.'

 

 

 

....

 

 

I was finally off of my period.

I was sitting on the couch, watching Finding Nemo and eating, while on Instagram. Liam was at the gym, doing his thing. I had already took my shower and did my hair, so there was really nothing to do.

I knew Liam would be coming home soon, and would probably get mad at me for sitting on the couch on my phone while eating McDonalds. But I was freakin' hungry and I was too lazy to make anything. 

Liam really hated McDonalds. He said it was too unhealthy for me to eat, and would make me fat. But I've been eating it since I was a child. I'm not going to stop now. It's not like I eat it everyday, just once in awhile. 

Only a number of people knew I had Instagram, and they are my closest friends from home. So, there was no way of Liam finding out. And my account name was not related to me at all, and it was on private so no one could see my posts. 

I sometimes felt like a caged animal.

The door opened, the sound of Liam's heavy footsteps coming into the room. I quickly logged out of Instagram and shoved my phone in my back pocket. Liam walked into the living room, his eyes roaming over to me. He looked at the McDonalds bag, then back at me.

He pointed to the bag, "what's that?" I looked at the bag, then looked back at him.

"McDonalds," I said, putting a mint in my mouth. 

"And what did I say about McDonalds?" He asked, dropping his gym bag on the floor and walking into the kitchen. He soon walked back out with a water bottle. He took the cap off and chugged half of it.

"It was unhealthy," I said, grabbing the bag. I stood up and walked past Liam, while his eyes stayed on my figure the whole time, watching my every move. I walked into the kitchen - where he followed me- and threw the bag away. 

When I turned around, Liam was walking towards me. He put his hands on my hips, backing me up so I was leaning against the counter. "Are you playing with me?" He whispered, his head dipping down, his teeth grazing my neck. He planted soft kisses up my neck, up to my ear. His teeth nibbled on my ear lobe.

"No, why would you think that?" I asked, pushing Liam away and going to walk past him. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me flush against him. 

"Oh, really?" He growled in my ear. "Because I think you are," he moved the hair away from my neck, his lips attaching themselves to my neck. He turned my head to the side with his hand, giving him more room. 

He turned me around and put his hand on the back of my thighs, making me jump. I wrapped my legs around his waist so I wouldn't fall, my arms going around his neck. Our lips smashed together, his instantly prying mine open. He walked forward, making me slam up against the fridge, but it didn't hurt much. Liam was still sweaty from his work out, his skin hot. 

His lips went to my neck, kissing all over. My hands went up to his hair, tugging on it. He groaned, pulling me away from the fridge and carrying me into the bedroom. He went to the side of the bed and put me down carefully, crawling on the bed and hovering over me again. He leaned down again and started to suck on my neck, drawing blood. 

He pulled back and looked at my face. "Please tell me you're off your period," he said. I looked down and saw a bulge in his pants. I looked back up at him and shook my head, making his eyes go wide. "You're kidding me, right?" His voice almost sounded like he was in pain.

I laughed, "yes, Liam. I'm kidding." 

"Oh, thank god," he muttered. His hand slid under my shirt, gripping my bare sides. He leaned down again, his lips going on mine. The kiss was much slower now, much more calm than before. His hands were still warm, which made my whole stomach warm. His thumbs rubbed circles on my waist, making me melt into his touch. 

My hands went to his shirt, tugging on it. He pulled back, pulling the shirt over his head, throwing it on the floor. He then scooted me over, laying down. He grabbed my hips and tugged me on top of him. I looked down at him, confused. He smirked at me, "you have to get your work out, too baby," his hands went to the buttons of my jeans. I pulled them off, throwing them on the floor with Liam's shirt. I leaned down, kissing down Liam's chest to his sport shorts. I pulled them down and off of his legs, throwing them on the floor. 

I took my underwear off, my hands going to his boxers and pulling them down. His cock sprung to life, hitting his stomach. I took it in my hands, pumping it before grabbing a condom and tearing it open, rolling it on. I lined it up to my entrance. I took a deep breath before slowly going down on it until my bum was touching Liam's skin. I stayed still for a couple seconds to get use to the feeling. It didn't take long since this wasn't the first time we've done this. I placed my hands on Liam's shoulders, his on my hips. 

I went up and down, the sounds of skin slapping each other filling the room. Every once in awhile Liam would let out a groan, me letting out a moan. I angled myself differently, making Liam's cock hit my prostate. I let out a loud moan, going slower now. Liam's hands helped me, making it easier for me. 

I was panting loudly, my high reaching its point. "L-Liam.." I moaned, my movements freezing, my hands squeezing his shoulders. His hands kept making me go up and down. It was him doing most of the work now, my body limp against his. He hit my prostate one last time, making me cum all over his cock.

Still after I had came, he kept moving my hips. It hurt now since it was sensitive to touch. "Liam," I whimpered, wanting him to stop. "Please.."

"I know, baby," he groaned. "I'm almost there." He kept making my hips go down and up on his cock, each time making it hurt more. He went faster now, making the pain almost unbearable. He finally groaned, pulling me off of him and cumming. 

I had tears in my eyes now, the pain still lingering. Liam laid still for a second, his arms going around my waist, pulling me to him. "Sorry, baby," he kissed my forehead. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

I just stayed silent, closing my eyes. I waited for the pain to go away. It eventually did, making me feel even more exhausted. I just leaned my head on Liam's chest, falling asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

(How she found out about Liam)

I have happily been with Liam for almost a month now.

He was honestly the best boyfriend you could ever ask for. He was such a caring and understanding person, and was always there for me. I knew I had picked the right one this time.

"Hey, honey?" Liam yelled from the kitchen.

"Yeah?"

"Can I use your phone? I have to call my mum, but mine's dead," he asked, walking into the living room where I was reading.

"Yeah, sure," I held my phone out to him. He took it and went back into the kitchen. 

I continued to read my book, which was amazing. It was the famous 'The Fault in Our Stars' book. I'm absolutely obsessed with John Green's books. He's just so talented and amazing at what he does. I've watched so many of his vlogs on YouTube, which are perfection. I've read almost all of his books. My favorites are Paper Towns, Looking for Alaska, and An Abundance of Katherines. The last book I want to read before I die, is any of John Green's books. They're just so amazing that I could cry.

"Hey, babe?" Liam walked back into the living room, staring quizzically down at my phone that was in his hands.

"Yeah?" I asked, not looking away from my book.

"Who's Kreigh?" I looked up at him, confused. "Because he's been texting you for a while now, hasn't he?" His eyes were narrowed, glaring at me.

"He's a friend," I said. "Did you go through my phone?" I asked, putting my book down. 

"Yeah, I did. And I didn't like what I found," he said, his voice raising.

"You can't just go through my phone like that!" I said, trying to grab my phone out of his hands, but he held it out of my reach.

"Yes, I can. I'm your boyfriend," he said. 

"Exactly! You're my boyfriend, not my father!"

"Why have you been texting him so much?" He crossed his arms over his chest. "Hmm?"

"Because he's my friend! I have friends, and I can talk to them if I want!" I said, getting extremely annoyed. I didn't like guys who got so jealous about everything and make such a big deal out of everything. "You didn't even have to call your mom, did you?" I crossed my arms over my chest, glaring at him.

"You aren't allowed to talk to him anymore," he said.

"Oh my god, Liam. This is ridiculous. Give me my phone," I stuck my palm out, waiting for him to give me back my phone. He laughed bitterly.

"I don't think so," he turned my phone on, messing around on it. "I'm deleting him from your contacts," he said.

My jaw dropped, my eyes widening. Was he serious?

I lunged forward, grabbing my phone out of his hands. Liam's hand instantly went in the air, smacking my cheek. I dropped my phone on the floor, clutching my cheek in my hands. I was forced to the floor from the powerful blow. I stared hard at the floor, refusing to look up at Liam. 

Liam knelt down and picked up my phone, messing around on it again. Probably deleting the contact. My mind was racing with thoughts. Why the hell did he do that? He was making such a big deal about one damn contact. We'd been friends for a long time now! He can't just suspect me to throw our friendship away and stop talking to him.

Liam grabbed both of my arms, picking me up. His hand went to my jaw, making me look up at him. He leaned down tried to kiss me, but I turned my head to the side so he kissed my cheek. He sighed, his arms wrapping around my waist, pulling me towards him. My hands stayed on my cheek, not wanting to touch him.

Did he think I was just going to forgive him for that? He just did it seconds ago! And he was trying to hug me now?! Hell to the no! He would be crazy if he thought I was even going to stay with him, or even want to communicate with him in anyway after this. I was strongly against abusive relationships and refused to be in one. I've read many books about it, and made me so mad. How could they think he loved her when they beat her? It was all just so ridiculous.

"I love you," he whispered.

If he thought I was going to say it back I might as well just drive him to the crazy house now.

"I'm leaving you," I growled, pushing him away from me. "If you think I'm going to stay with you after this you are fucking crazy!" I spat, walking away into the bedroom. I pulled out a bag, shoving clothes in it. My cheek stung and there were tears streaming down my cheek. I loved him, and he ruined it.

Liam marched in, grabbing the bag away from me. I growled, reaching for the bag. "Liam, give me the fucking bag right now!" I yelled.

"Don't yell," he said. "And you aren't going anywhere," he through the bag on the floor behind him. I watched as the clothes fell out, scattering on the floor. His arms went around me and brought me to him. "You love me and I love you," he whispered, his hand stroking my hair. "Okay?"

I didn't reply. My arms were limp at my sides, refusing to go around him.

Then I realized, I was now one of those stories.

 

 

......

 

 

"So what're we doing tonight?" Liam asked, plopping down on the couch, his phone in his hand.

"Um, about that," I turned towards him. "My friend, Kirtlyn, invited me to go with her and some other friends to her house. Can I go?" I bit my lip, wishing with everything I have for him to say yes. I hadn't seen them in forever and was in need for some girl time. 

"Yeah," I smiled. "No." My smile instantly dropped. Why not?

"Why can't I?" I asked, annoyed and disappointed. I was really looking forward to seeing them again. 

"Because. There will most likely be other boys there. You're not going if there are other boys there." He looked back down at his phone.

"No there won't be any boys. I can even call her and ask." Liam just hummed. I sighed, grabbing my phone and walking into the kitchen. I dialed Kirtlyn's number, pressing the phone against my ear.

"Hello?"

"Kirtlyn, it's me Shilah."

"Oh, hey! What's up?

"Nothing much. Uh, I was wondering if you- uh if there was going to be any boys at your house?" I felt very stupid asking this.

"Oh, um..yeah. Some guy friends and some of their boyfriends will come along." I bit down on my lip, looking in the living room where Liam was on his phone. "You can bring yours if you want..?"

"Yeah, um. I think I'll do that," I said quickly. Why was I so nervous to talk to her? We've been best friends since 2nd grade for gods sake! "I, uh, gotta go. I'll see ya later," I quickly ended the call, shoving the phone in my back pocket and walking out to Liam. 

"Hey uh- Liam." 

"Yeah?" 

"You can come with me if you would like.." I really didn't want Liam to come, but it was the only way for me to go at all. Liam looked up at me and shrugged his shoulders.

"Ehh," he looked at the wall. "Sure."

 

 

....

 

 

I knocked on the door, Liam's arm around my waist, holding me against him. His thumb rubbed circles on my hip.

The door swung open, revealing Kirtlyn. She had a pink, flowy dress on with a champagne glass in her other hand. 

"Shi!" She squealed, throwing her arms around my neck. I pushed Liam's hands off of me, hugging her back. "I missed you so much!" She pulled away, pulling me inside with Liam coming in behind us. She hooked our arms together, walking us somewhere. "Where have you been? We haven't seen you in so long!" 

"Uh, I guess I've just been busy," I said. A smile instantly formed on my lips when I saw all my friends. They were all in the living room, either lounging on the couch or standing and talking to other people. There were a couple of people that I've never met before. 

Several other people came up to me, hugged me and told me how much they missed me. Some began to talk about boring stories that I could really care less about.

I looked around, trying to find where Liam was. I spotted him in the corner, a bottle of beer in his hand. He was staring directly at me, just watching me. He raided the bottle to his lips, taking a long swig from it, staring at me the whole time. 

I nudged my way out of the crowd, walking towards Liam. I didn't get why e couldn't socialize with other people here. Did he not want to even know any of my friends names?

"Liam," I said, now standing in front of him. He smirked at me, hands gripping my hips and pulling me towards him.

"Hey, baby," he whispered. He leaned down, pressing his lips against mine. He tred prying my lips open, but I pulled away. I wasn't too keen in the idea of making out in front of a bunch of people. Even if they were my friends...

"Why aren't you talking to anyone?" I asked, looking up at him.

"They're just a bunch of pricks," he glared at the crowd of people. "Ya hear that?" He yelled. My hand went up to his mouth, not letting him say anything else.

"Liam," I hissed. "Stop it."

"You can't tell me what to do," he growled, turning us around so I was up against the wall. "You know that, Shilah."

"Liam, what's wrong with you?" I was a bit frightened and confused. Liam usually wouldn't act like this in front of people. I looked down at his hands, seeing the bottle of beer.

Wait, was he drunk?

"How many beers have you had?" I asked.

"I don't know. 7...10"

"10?!" I shoved Liam's arms off of me and got away from the wall. "You had ten beers?! Seriously?"

"Come on, babe," he whispered. "I wanna kiss."

I shook my head and grabbed his arm, pulling him to the door. I opened it trying to pull Liam out before he could do anything stupid. 

"You're all just a bunch of pricks!" Liam yelled once I finally got him out. I quickly shut the door behind us, glaring at Liam.  
What would my friends think?

 

....

 

"What the hell is this?" Liam yelled, barging into the living room, my phone in his hand.

"Hey! That's mine!" I shut my book, setting it down on the couch. I stood up, putting my hands on my hips.

I've been really fed up with Liam recently. He was constantly yelling at me- more than usual. He would leave at 7 and come stumbling back into the house past midnight. I knew he was drunk. He tried to have sex with me a couple times, but I refused. 

"I thought I told you no instagram! And what is this?" He shoved my phone in my face. I smacked his arm away. 

"Don't shove it in my face," I said sternly. I grabbed the phone out of his hands, shoving it on my back pocket. Liam stared at me in surprise. I've never stood up for myself like this before. Something just came over me. I'm tired of him coming home late drunk off of his ass. He'll smack me if I reject his dick- every night.

And I was tired of it.

"I'm sick of this, Liam!" I yelled. "You need to get your shit together." He slapped me. I can't say I didn't see it coming, because I did. My head stayed turned to the side, my fist clenched and my teeth grinding down on each other. I slowly turned my head back to Liam, raged. 

My hand raised, and slapped his cheek, making his head fly to the side. Well, this was a change of position. Liam looked back at me, his eyes hard. I stared back at him before shaking my head, and walking into the bedroom. I grabbed my duffle bag and shoved clothes in, Liam coming in. I didn't pay any attention to him, just kept packing. Various items were shoved into the duffle bag. My charger and brush were the last things before I zipped it up. I slipped on my shoes and pushed past Liam, walking to the door.

I could hear his footsteps behind me. Of course he followed me. 

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"Away from you," I said, grabbing my coat and putting it on. 

"No, no- you can't just- Shilah," I opened the door, stepping out. I walked down the sidewalk, hearing Liam coming out behind me. "Shilah, I'm sorry, okay? You know I love you," he grabbed my arm. "Please, Shilah. You're the only person I have left," I scoffed, still not looking at him. I tugged my arm out of his grip.

"Go get some vodka you asshole."

 

  
\---

 

  
"What the hell has been going on, Shilah? Answer me truthfully."

I sighed, looking up at my bestfriend, Macy. I did owe them answers. I owed everyone answers. Why I hadn't talked to them in months, why I haven't answered their calls. I knew the answer to every question.

Liam.

My eyes drifted over to Macy's boyfriend, who was sitting beside her, holding her hand. I envied their relationship. They were both so happy. Darren - Macy's boyfriend- was so kind and always their for her. They had been together since 8th grade. I remember Macy running up to me at my locker, squealing in excitement. Darren had just asked her out- might I add, finally. 

Not many people looked good with short hair, but Macy did. She had hair about an inch above her shoulder, and was jet black. It was always so straight an shiny. While mine was usually a brunette mess. 

"I-" there was a lump in my throat. My throat was dry, my voice turned off. Darren got up and got me a glass of water, handing it to me. I nodded at him, unable to say anything. I took a sip, staring down at it, before finally looking up at them.

"Liam, he- he was a good man. But he, um," Macy puy a hand on top of mine, giving me a small smile. "He changed. A lot," and I broke down. The tears flooded out of my eyes and the sobs broke from my throat. Macy scooted closer up me, wrapping her arm around me, her hand rubbing my arm.

"Shhh, it's okay," she grabbed a tissue, giving it to me.

"He-he abused me, Macy," that's all I could get out. I buried my head in her hair, my sobs going wild. 

"Shilah- we need to call the police," she said.

"No, no, you can't do that," I pulled away, looking up at her with fear.

"You're safe now, Shi. He can't hurt you," she pet my hair. "This guy is phsyco. He needs to be arrested or something!"

"I know. But, Macy- Macy please. Don't call the police," I begged. She stared at me for a bit before nodding. 

"Okay, okay I won't." She brought me back to her, rubbing my back. "You can stay with us. Darren will go over there tomorrow and get your stuff."

I just shut my eyes, blocking out everything and pretended I didn't exist. Because I didn't want to. I wish my mother would have never given birth to me. I wish I would never have gone to the movie that day. I wish I wouldn't have wanted that pop.

But most of all, I wish Liam wasn't a phsyco.


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hell was always right in front of me"

"What do you want to do today?" Macy asked, plopping down beside me. 

"I don't know," I shrugged, looking down at my lap. 

"Do you want to go to the movies?" She asked.

That was the place where I met Liam for the first time. That was the last place I wanted to go. I shook my head.

I heard her sigh. "Shi, I know this is hard, but you can't let him ruin you, okay?" I nodded my head.

She was right. I shouldn't let him get to me. I left him. Our relationship is in the past now. Gone and over.

Forever.

I was debating on the idea of calling the police or not. Was it even a good idea? Liam would be so mad though. But I don't have to worry about him anymore, right? 

Yes, yes I do.

He would never go away in my memories. Memories stay forever. He was staying forever.

 

  
...

 

  
"Hey, mom!" I smiled, walking through the foot and hugging my mom. I felt like I hadn't seen her in forever. Going to my mom always made me feel better. 

"Honey, I missed you! Where have you been?"

"Sorry, I've been busy. I wish I could've came earlier. Traffic is crazy!" I took my jacket off, putting it on the hook. 

My dad soon walked in, a big grin on his face. "Where's my girl?" He came over to me and gave me a bone crushing hug. "We missed you, kiddo," he said, messing up my hair.

"I missed you guys too," I sighed.

I never realized how much Liam had held me back from things. I was missing out on my family, my friends, and just life in general. I was proud to say that I was over him.

I am over Liam Payne. 

 

"Did you sleep good, honey?" My mother asked. I slowly sat up on the couch, rubbing my eyes.

"Do I fall asleep?" I asked. All I remembered was watching Tangled with my parents.

"Yes, about 15 minutes into the movie. I thought you looked exhausted," she said. "You can go into the spare bedroom. I'm sure it's much more comfortable than the couch. I nodded my head, slowly standing up and walking into the bedroom. I plopped down on the bed, not even caring to put the blankets on me. I was just so focused on sleeping again.

 

 

I took a sip of my coffee, rubbin my temple. I was back with Macy and her boyfriend. We were at Starbucks right now. 

I had a dream of Liam last night. It was terrible. He came back and found me, and took me. He raped me and beat me until I was bruised and bleeding. Then he left me there. Just left me laying on the ground. It was absolutely terrifying. 

"Tell her," I heard Macy whisper. I glanced up. Macy nudged his shoulder, eyebrows raising to me. He sighed before looking over at me.

"I saw Liam last night," he glanced over at Macy again. "At the club. Some of my buds always go and I went with them. He was there, drunk off his ass." 

Well, that wasn't hard to believe. Somewhere inside of me wished that he would get better since I left. That was obviously a stupid thing to think.

"Was he with anybody?" I asked.

"No. He was all alone," Darren said. I nodded my head.

Why should I care? He was out of my life now. I never have to see him again. I don't want to see him again.

I'm done with him.

 

 

....

 

 

Why am I doing this? This is a terrible idea. Why did I think this was a good idea in the first place? What could go right from this? Oh god, I should have asked Macy to come with me.

I was so nervous.

And I hate being nervous. The most simple things made me nervous. Like standing in front of my classmates to do a presentation, or just go through a fucking drive-through!

But this wasn't so simple.

I was meeting Liam at a coffee shop by the library. He had called me but I ignored it. Then I called him and made plans to meet up at a coffee shop. 

It's been 2 months since I last saw him.

What was I going to say?

'Hey, Liam. We dated for a while, remember? And you abused me a lot and sexually harassed me. But yeah, I thought it would be a good idea to talk to you again?'

No.

I was thinking about getting up and leaving-

But then the little bell above the door rang.

Liam walked in. He had that same cocky look on his face that I was positive would be plastered on his face forever. He was wearing his jeans low, most of his butt showing. He had a leather jacket on and a black t-shirt under it.

He was as same as he was the last time I saw him.

I had told my parents everything, and my friends. They deserved to know why I couldn't talk to them. They were pissed, of course.

He looked around the coffee shop, spotting me, and walked over to me. He slid into the other side of the booth, giving me a small smile.

"You cut your hair," he said, pointing to my much short hair. It came just a tad bit under my shoulder, with blonde highlights.

I loved it.

"Yeah," I said, picking up a strand of hair and staring at it. "Do you want me to call the waiter back?" I asked. I had already got my drink, seeing as I was hear at least 20 minutes before Liam, and already drank 3 coffees.

I was so nervous.

"No, it's fine," he folded his hands on the table. "I've missed you, Shilah." My breathing stopped. I was afraid of that. I didn't want him to miss me. I wanted him to forget me so we could both move on with our lives. Was that so hard?

I avoided looking up at him.

I could hear him sigh. I was waiting for him to grip my chin and yell at me like he usually did.

But he didn't.

"I've missed you so much that it hurts. It's literally killing me, Shilah," I could hear his voice getting quicker, more anxious. I still kept my eyes on my lap. "I went into a bad depression. I tried drinking and getting drunk every night to forget about you, but you were still there, every second of every minute, every minute of every hour, every hour of every day. You never left my head. Not once."

I slowly looked up at him, glaring. "You got drunk every night when we were still together."

His whole face looked sad, broken down. But I didn't care. He made me feel like that every day that we were together. "I know," he sighed. "And I regret it. I was a terrible person-"

"You are a terrible person. That will never change," I snapped.

"I know," he took a deep breath. "Drinking didn't do me any good. So, I just tried- I tried to kill myself." 

This got my attention. He tried to kill himself? 

"I failed, though. I was standing on the chair, the rope around my neck, I was in the bathroom by the way, when I saw something on the counter," he reached in his pocket and pulled out a silver necklace. "Until I saw this." He handed the necklace to me, his hand touching mine for a brief second. A jolt went from my hand throughout my whole body. 

I ignored it.

"I knew how much it meant to you. I had to give it back to you. I couldn't die knowing that you wouldn't have it."

It was a necklace my grandmother have me. In the hour she died. And she didn't die in a hospital bed, she died in a bathtub. She gave me it and said that she wasn't going to see me again for a long time. That I was one of the best things that ever happened her, along with her husband. I didn't understand since I was only 10. After that, I left and went home with my parents. In that same hour, she killed herself by drowning herself. 

The necklace was my most treasured item I owned.

My eyes teared up as I looked up at Liam.

"Liam, thank you so much. I can't even explain how much this means to me."

"You don't have to," he said. "I know."

I soon fixed myself. I put the necklace on- refusing Liam's help- and wipe my eyes. 

"I'm doing therapy. I'm getting better," he said. "I know you'll never take me back, but I still have to say something."

"I love you, Shilah. I know you hate me and you don't even want to see my face. But that doesn't stop me from loving you. I've loved you ever since you spilled Pepsi on me and I always will. My heart hurts everyday knowing that I will never be able to receive your love. But it's my fault. All my fault. I regret it everyday of my life. I know that doesn't matter to you, because regretting it doesn't mean I can erase it. Even if I do want to erase it. You will never forgive me, and I know that. I wouldn't forgive me either. But I love you, Shilah." By the end I was tearing up again. I didn't dare let them slip though.

"I love you too, Liam. I really do."  
I said. "But we can never be together. Not what after you did to me. And you're right, I won't forgive you. And it is your fault," he looked down at his lap. I could see a tear fall from his eye and onto his lap. "I honestly don't know why I even called and set this up. Maybe for some kind of...release? Truth is Liam, I know we are meant for each other. But it's screwed up. And I guess we'll both have to die alone or marry someone we don't truly love. Because I can't be with you."

He was full on sobbing now, loud sobs coming out of his mouth. People were staring, we didn't care though. There were more important matters at hand.

I wiped my eyes, gathering up all my stuff. I laid a 10 dollar bill on the table before looking at Liam. 

"Goodbye, Liam," I walked out of the coffee shop, ignoring all of the stares.

As soon as I got out the door, a huge smile formed on my lips.

I, Shilah, was free from my own personal devil, Liam Payne.

Forever.

 

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is the end! Thank you all for reading and I love you all.x


End file.
